I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
