I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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