I wannas sexs uuuuu
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize