He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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