I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
