Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
