hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
