One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
