gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
