Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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