I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
