is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
