speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
is it fun? or sober?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
