i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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