We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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