I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
