So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
