well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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