We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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