Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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