I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
