...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
