so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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