Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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