He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How does one acquire holy water?