It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.