whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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