He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
