Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
