i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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