like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
