Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize