mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
