I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I understand Curling. That high.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
