I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
