are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize