the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
