I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
