I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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