just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
