Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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