i don't plan on having that self control this summer
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
