I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
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I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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