i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
