It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
