I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think your dad took our porno
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
