Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
