Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
