anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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