We won't sleep together?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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