I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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