I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
