we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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