Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
