singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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