I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
