it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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