God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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