Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
