I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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