dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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