just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
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We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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