Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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