Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
