FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
