i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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