dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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