wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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