The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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