I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
